Why oh why do people lay so much stock on being an achiever, a success, on having done something others can be proud of and blah blah. Have you gotten a whiff of the deep feeling of underachievement flowing in my veins yet? Yes, I can do nothing right and I have accepted it. However, there are five things that I excel in… ummm have mastered(read am a complete disaster) are:
1) Am an excellent cook. News of my cooking prowess has spread far and wide. My cooking is a true tribute to the senses; you can smell the burning food from miles away. My friends’ check if their insurance is up to date if they come to know that I am going to cook for them. I can just imagine my mum’s eyes brimming over with tears of joy, on the one day that I place before her a selection of food, that is edible(Alas! anything out of the can or pre cooked is not food for her).
2)I am brilliant with things involving technology. You see I have a long and checkered history with technology and a lot of references to fall back on. Having opened and explored every single gadget that came into our house since I was a wee child. No one can accuse me of not knowing how to use a screwdriver. Why would someone expect me to know how to operate a strange new TV remote is beyond me?
3)Can haggle a good bargain when out shopping. Read get cheated most of the time. I cannot bargain with shopkeepers to save my life. Wonder why I never picked up this life saving skill essential to compulsive shoppers, like me, inspite of seeing my friends, relatives and sundry other people in violent action.
4)I like to believe that I can sing even though I have been assured over the years that I am delusional about my vocal capabilities.
5) I am dismal with directions(no lies anymore). I might have traveled the same street for a gazillion times but wonder of wonders I still manage to get lost. The icing on the cake is when I am giving directions to someone, to a particular place, especially when they are driving. Have driven quite a few people mad in this process.
I truly believe that I will manage to master these tasks someday; nauseatingly optimistic that I am.