Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Stale Fortune Cookie Business!

Just to show you guys that I can be sooo cool sometimes I am namimg today’s post a Wacky Wednesday. I had never expected that I would get so many opportunities for laughter in my line of work. Not that I’m complaining. I stumbled upon these wonderful fortune cookie predictions while doing some research for my work. I HAD to share these with all of you. Purely for your reading pleasure, I present the

15 Worst Fortune Cookies

15. What, 3 servings of Moo Shoo Pork weren't enough for you, tubby?

14. Your fullness will be short-lived. Like an hour, tops.

13. Put all your money and jewelry in the egg roll and nobody gets hurt.

12. It takes a tough man to make tender chicken from a cat.

11. This coupon good for a free 1-year subscription to Windows Sources magazine.

10. Today's dog in alley is tomorrow's moo goo gai pan.

9. Spouse mad at you. No get special "wonton pork" tonight.

8. Patron who mocks waiter's accent will unwittingly consume chef's bodily fluids.

7. A wise man tips 20% to avoid severe tire damage.

6. An 87 year old hooker awaits you.

5. Man who look to stale cookie for advice probably make good busboy. Ask waitress for application.

4. Hope you enjoyed your dinner, Mr. Bond.

3. Wipe that drool off your chin. That waitress you're ogling is Mr. Woo's number one son.

2. Your strength lies in your continued belief that what you just ate was indeed duck.

1. Creative Chinese chef without utensils can still find ways to stir soup


  1. Too bad the fortune cookies we get in the restaurant aren't this funny.

  2. ha, the james bond one cracked me up! it would have to self-destruct afterwards, though!

  3. @Ian - Wouldn't that be your dream come true?
    I'll do that.]

    @TechnoBabe - Yeah...I guess that's because the restaurant people actually want their customers to come back again...

    @alladinsane12 - I totally agree with you there!

  4. Fun! Thanks for sharing your fortunes with us, Jana!

  5. @HumorSmith - You are welcome!

  6. The hooker one....fab!

    (PS-we share the same name!)

  7. @~J I know that is the jewel in my fortune cookie crown! Let's see if we have anything else in common...

  8. Well! Blogger ate my original comment. So rude. And it was all about man-ladles and fortune number one on your list. Well, the internets will miss my fine observation. Or not.


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