Wednesday, February 17, 2010

On Beginnings…

The title of this post seems to have an ominous beginning as it closely follows the titles of Hazlitt's essays. I have spent many sad afternoons of my starved youth, in a boring classroom, listening to my professor droning on about Hazlitt while I wished... no prayed... for aliens to descend on Earth, beam her up into their spaceship and put me out of my misery. I can promise you that not a single moment of my time would have been given to that insipid woman voluntarily, if I was not expected to keep my attendance up to be eligible to appear for my exams. I have nothing against fact I consider him to be a wonderful essayist who touched on the relevant topics of his time quite knowledgeably and described them for the benefit of his fellow human-beings. I am afraid those aforementioned afternoons have scarred me for life and I can never bear to look at another essay of Hazlitt's without being paranoid of the aftereffects. It is still a mystery to me as to why this popped into my head the moment I started thinking of a title for this post.
        This post is an attempt at explaining the reasons why I have finally dared to inflict my thought process on anyone who would care to listen to what I have to say.  My reasons are purely selfish i must admit. I am only thinking of what I can get out of this exercise. Inspite of everything that is me screaming a big NO I have decided to speak my thoughts out loud for everyone to hear. You see I am a technophobe (is there such a word?) a cyber idiot who cannot maneuver her way round anything remotely involving technology to save her life. My brain simply refuses to register any technological information and slips into a quiet but elegant comatose state. This blog(not without a LOT of help from my more adept sister) will map my progress or will forever go down in history as yet another of my famed failed attempts at self improvement. So my dear fellow blogsters be patient with me and handle with care for I bruise easily. Come and take a tour with me of the strange and sometimes twisted world that is my mind. I might not have a lot to say and might not even make sense on a lot of occasions but I do hope that I am able to make some of your moments brighter through my stumbling around in this rarified atmosphere.

        To be honest, this blog came into existence due to my sister’s constant nagging for me to DO SOMETHING…ANYTHING. Penning my two cents’ worth here, I thought, would help me accomplish a lot of my self-improvement targets. As I have nothing resembling a social life at the moment I have this  beautiful mental image of myself typing away furiously for hours, days, weeks and months and emerging at the end of it a techno wiz (if only at blogging). On top of it, I would have gone on a major purging binge, the kind that has not been seen since Barbara Cartland’s days of churning out books by the dozen. My sisters’ would finally have no reason to get on my case and my parents’ would stop wondering what I do with all the time on my hands. Hopefully, my fear of communicating with people would have subsided to a reasonable extent. Don’t get me wrong when I say I have a fear of communication. I speak very well in public if I say so myself.  Anything that involves me competing against someone turns me into a mean machine. I can stand in front of a crowd of people and speak fluently on any given topic. It is only in a social setting that I seem to turn to some grim silent version of myself once the initial pleasantries are over. That small talk bores me to the point of numbness does not help the situation at all. The kind of inane, mindless talk people will indulge in just to while away time makes me want to pull my hair out of the roots or even slam my head into the nearest available wall. I would like to open myself to people a bit more and see what kind of reception I get. I live in hopes of the day when the people who know me would describe me as fun and a wonderful talker…the life of the party(now I know I’m aiming too high). Anyways, some of you write so amazingly and irresistibly, that I have decided it would be worth my while to spend some time getting to know  you all and learn a lot about myself in the process. 

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