Indulging in merry conversation with a friend of mine the other day… he let it drop that my responses are quite unnatural and scary, most of the time. This stemmed from my vehement objection of a simple compliment that had been paid to yours truly. I was forceful enough to make him retrace said statement and apologize for such heresy. Branding me an odd creature this friend revealed(in a careful voice) that one never knows what to expect when talking to me. Admitting to being scared of what my response would be to this tasty morsel of information…this friend nevertheless aspired to braver and nobler intentions and risked getting his head chewn off at the altar of friendship. A true friend he said, tells you the truth whether you like it or not. That is a whole new topic for debate I think, which I won’t touch on now.
This friend opened my eyes wide and made me see the monstrous picture that I present to others at times. There has been many a time when an innocent and harmless remark made by someone I know has put my back up and lead to one of my famous, mysterious moods. People are actually afraid to talk to me on such occasions.
There was this one time long long ago, while still in school, when a classmate dared to tattle to the teacher about some stuff(will not disclose what as it is really embarrassing) i had smuggled into class. Just keep in mind that i take no pride whatsoever in disclosing what ensued next. I stared at the poor girl with only a minimum amount of blinking involved, for the entire 45 minutes duration of that class. This was not an ordinary, everyday stare mind you, where one focuses on nothing in particular and it seems as if the person in front of you is either retarded or contemplating something deeply profound, which is annoying nonetheless. My stare was full of emotions that I could barely restrain…the phrase if looks could kill springs to mind here and which if applicable in this situation would have her groveling at my feet for mercy. I picture myself as Ayesha from Rider Haggard’s She, at such times, if only for my ability to reduce people to silent tears and a deep heartfelt regret.
This just goes on to show that I was just as intolerant in my day to day life then as I am now. I am one of the most intolerant people I know when it comes to the insignificant things in life…things that shouldn’t matter and which I should be able to overlook quite easily.