Oh No...You didn't

Alright, here we go, since I seem to have recovered from my brief spell of melancholy, I guess its time for something that’s totally inappropriate, inappropriate according to the world, not me. Feel free to indulge in such delicious behaviour, but know when to stop. This is a very important step of this whole exercise if you do not want your sorry ass beaten up. My post today is dedicated to all the things that we would all love to say once in a while (come on accept it) but don’t…

‘’He( This being one of the few nice men actually left on the planet ) cried off our second date making the most creative excuses’’ –

(me thinking but thankfully not speaking aloud) ‘’are you sure your dressing and behaving like a slut had nothing to do with it?’’.

Laugh when people fall flat on their ass, which I deduce is a universally common and most natural response. We just get this urge to laugh uncontrollably when someone tastes dirt, at least I do. I don’t approve of people doing the same thing though, when I am The Laughee and someone else has the exalted position of being The Laugher.

Sleeping at weddings…

Oh how I enjoy weddings or is it the sleeping at weddings part. Weddings in my community, for some weird reason, always seem to take place in the early hours of the morning when I am ready to crash into bed. By this time I am usually in a state where I wouldn’t notice or seem to care if I fell face first in anything you would care to imagine( nothing too gross though) . Anyways I seem to enjoy my most refreshing sleep at weddings. So much so that I’m afraid I might not be invited to more of them in the future.

Laughing in someone’s face when they tell you how hard they have been trying to not put on weight and painstakingly sharing with you all the gory details of what diet they are on and what all is expected of them to follow this. I would love to tell such people to stop stuffing their faces, so much so often; and then watch them go all red in the face, the exact shade of a lovely plum or cherry.

I almost agreed vocally with a friend of mine the other day, when he innocently commented that he gets easily tired nowadays. I was about to sympathize with him saying I could understand, what with the bald spot and all, about which I guess he has no clue. I totally get the saying about things happening just in the nick of time now. In this case stopping myself from just blurting this gem out…Saved me a friendship…this one did.